I feel so sad. I'm trying so hard to make it better. I'm sorry if I let you down. I just feel really sad. I try not to think now, I try to think of other things instead and then I feel guilty.
I'm trying to do another charity ball again in your memory hope it works out and helps. Then I wonder why I am bothering with alltge stress and then I feel guilty again.
I wonder if I should cancel it then I feel guilty again. I feel stressed out and really tired. I miss you.
I wish you could tell me one of your funny jokes again.
I wonder how we came to this ?
I wonder where you are. I am in your bedroom now
I feel happy now in here and I feel safe.
I feel like people don't care anymore they feel like so much time has passed and they don't ask anymore.
We will always care forever and ever and ever
Love you my eldest big boy forever 7 in my heart
Love you x